Many people had a childhood lesson about that it is not allowed to make mistakes. If you suffered a defeat, this meant that you were not good enough and didn’t try hard. As a result, you start being afraid or ever ashamed of your mistakes: you could hide them or even try to make them look better.
This leads to that, human refuses going in for activity where there is a high risk of defeat. “I shouldn’t even try it”, they think. But the greatest possibilities appear exactly because of high risks. You can work at the office 8 hours a day from Monday to Friday, or you get enough courage and try something new like the experts of writing we hire did.
Defeats, refuses and failures are extremely important. You need them due to various reasons we’ll talk about below. Get used to defeats, but not for becoming a famous loser. Get stronger and better due to your defeats.
1. You’re Not Afraid of a Failure
The more you fail, the less you are afraid to fail.
If you are not afraid to fail, then the world is under your feet. All the great humans of the past and the present know that.
You need to fall, to suffer serious defeats, to make mistakes. This is the only way for you to understand this to be a part of the process. You can be scared and insulted when being defeated for the first few times. But the more of them you get, the more confidence you’ll gain.
You can make this your game, and to go into situations where you’ll get denial on purpose. For instance, visit an interview you won’t pass for sure. Repeat that a couple times in a row.
After some time passes, your mistakes stop scaring you. You won’t be afraid of the unknown as well. This is how our brain and psychic work. The point is to get rid of the negative emotional component.
If after the next refusal, you find yourself not worrying and asking “How should I get that?”, this means you’re ready.
2. Failures Allow to Become Better
The only way to become better and to reach your dream is to make mistakes and get experience from them.
Take a look on defeats Elon Musk suffers time after time. Yes, he is on top of success already, but he made numerous defeats and wrong decisions at the start of his way. They all made him stronger. This is how it all works: there is no other way to reach success (unless you own billion dollars already).
This is why there are so few remarkable people in the world. Weak people quit trying after their first mistake, they can’t make right conclusions and use their experience to become better.
A defeat is a part of a process, which is probably the most important one. If you do everything fine and there are no obstacles on your way to the goal, then something definitely goes wrong. Always try to understand, what exactly doesn’t go as intended.
Let’s think, you decided to create a startup and invited investors. They refused in the way that insulted you. Instead of getting negative emotions, try to shake up yourself and to think what mistakes were made:
- The presentation was weird: lots of words and not enough graphics;
- I need to learn presentational skills;
- I need to watch my body language, I was too nervous;
- The product isn’t good enough, I need to fix it;
- Everything was banal and boring.
Remember, investors give their own money, and they won’t harm themselves. They will invest into your business once they understand all the nuances and see all the benefits.
That is why, instead of complying the unequal world you should ask yourself “What was wrong?” and look for the answers.
3. Defeats Show What You Really Want
You probably have several serious goals:
- To write a book;
- To start a blog;
- To lose weight;
- To get new communicational skills;
- Anything else.
Let’s look at “To lose weight” goal. If you suffer a defeat several times in a row while trying to reach it, then you don’t need it that much. We won’t say it’s fine. But you should accept that fact and stop cheating on yourself. You are to want to lose weight so much that another result wouldn’t be an option. You need to change your thoughts, behavior, actions, character, way of thinking.
Every defeat tells you about something. Maybe, you need to change the goal, to reformat it. Maybe, you need to find a completely another goal.
4. Defeats Make You Stronger
Banality that will always be actual. The ability to overcome circumstances means your courage, discipline and strength.
The greatest people suffered their defeats thousands of times during their life. The most average ones had tens of them. First part of people asked right questions and were persistent. Second part of humans complied about their fate and told themselves how smart and skillful they were.
Any person can be put into components, no matter if you want that or you don’t. That’s like in a video game: memory quality, logic and critical thinking level, the ability to think and to get new information and so on. These components form one’s personality.
Become stronger after every mistake. And stop being afraid of refuses.